That’s what I realised when time and again, I was disappointed to see that my lily bulbs, resting comfortably in plenty-big-enough plant pots in Nan and Grandad’s garden, had failed to sprout through the soil’s surface.
Weeks went by, the soil remained uninterrupted. My hopes of a floral appearance were wilting. Giving up was within reach.
But then Grandad had a bright idea (as he often does). He decided to move some of the soil around, separating the 6 bulbs between 2 pots, with 3 in each. And what do you know! A week later, a patch of little green leaves began to show. I was delighted.
And it got me thinking. Just as a flower needs the right conditions to thrive, we humans require a supportive environment to cultivate our inner growth and happiness.
I did a sacrilege thing for a content writer, post-English Lit grad (yes, I’m 3 years out of Uni and still not letting go of my post-grad label).
I skipped the book and watched the documentary: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck style. And oh boy, oh boy, oh BOY, did it resonate.
The now New York Times bestseller, Mark Manson, offered up all sorts of inspiring anecdotes. But this concept, in particular, struck a chord with me:
Everyone wants you to believe that the secret to a good life is to have a better job or a fancier car or the prettiest girlfriend. But the key to a good life isn’t ‘giving a f*ck’ about more; it’s giving a f*ck about less. About only what is true and immediate and important.
Because when we actually think about it, we have plenty of resources: TVs and clothes and materialistic piles of shit we don’t need.
When we actually think about it, the problem we face is existential. It’s spiritual.
We have so much stuff and so many opportunities. For so many of us, the world is so within our grasp that we don’t know what to give a f*ck about anymore. And what does that mean? We have to narrow it down and find it.
Here on the Isle of Man, we celebrate Tynwald Day on the 5th July. For those of you off-the-rock readers (hey, by the way - thank you for being here!) Tynwald Day is like a puny, lil Manx version of Independence Day, just one day late.
We get a day off work for it, which is good enough for me (gem of God's earth, and all that).
Anyway, this year, our Manx National Day just so happened to find itself slap-bang in the middle of the working week, so I decided to book the Monday and Tuesday off work, too (uh-huh, oh yeah, look at me, using my common sense for a change!).
My colleagues asked me what my plans were.
"A trip away?"
"Spa-cation somewhere?"
"Visiting family?"
The answer to all those questions was, well - a smiley no.
I was simply taking some time off because I was taking some time off. I needed a break.
Time doing nada.
Zilch.
Sweeeeeet f*ck all.
Because it’s during the times in which we sit back and reflect, wrapped up in a cosy blanket of mindfulness, that we can balance our thoughts out a bit. Which I figured I needed. In short: a total refresh.
I wanted to take the time to ponder over the following:
🤔 What really matters to me? and
🤔 How can I channel that into making a difference day-to-day?
Because without knowing those two fundamental things about myself, how can I expect to lead a happy, fulfilling life?
So I started where I know best: with paper and my pen.
And I’ve been journaling. Every day since.
That’s a lie.
I have been journaling, though. But only as much as I possibly can.
Life gets busy. Summer means more time outside. And more fresh air means me catching zZZzZzZs as soon as my think tank hits the pillow (I’m a shmuck for sleep).
So I’ve come up with an alternative. Those nights I simply CBA writing in my journal, I use this template:
The Daily Gratitude Round-Up
🙌 3 things I’m grateful for (because embracing gratitude is the key to a happy heart)
✌️ 2 people who made a positive impact (big ol’ shout-outs to the wonderful souls who bring sunshine into my life)
🌟 1 way I made someone else’s day better (I’m trying so hard to be a kinder human. To think outside of myself as much as I can. To spread more joy. Because the little things can make a difference)
Reflection is regenerative. And the key to feeling happier and more fulfilled is in better placing my focus.
So by sparing some time for mindfulness, by making a conscious effort to improve my mental health, I’m essentially "fixing the environment" in which my personal growth occurs. Just as Grandad did with my lily bulbs.
Rather than solely focusing on the end goal of being happier, I’ve recognised the need to create a conducive atmosphere for my well-being. And the importance of maintaining the atmosphere.
Now, I’m prioritising observing and jotting down my thoughts, feelings, and sensations as presently as I can, without judgement. And it’s helped me develop a greater awareness of myself and my surroundings. A scribble a day has allowed me to identify negative influences or stressors that may be hindering my growth; those claustrophobic plant pots confining my ability to bloom.
I’m learning the importance of shifting my focus towards activities, people, and aspects of my life that bring me joy, fulfilment, and a sense of purpose. I’m recognising the need of self-care and setting boundaries.
My brain is letting me breathe because I’m visualising my problems on the page.
I'm processing my pain points on a daily basis. I’m figuring out the how’s and the why’s to my bad moods, like:
🍷 Overindulging at the weekend.
💤 A lack of sleep.
🩸Mother nature’s monthly visit (always a hum-dinger).
Seeing it written down makes me rationalise.
When I prioritise my mental well-being by spending the time to reflect on my day, I automatically become better equipped to manage stress, make sound decisions, and maintain a healthy work-life balance.
And you know what I’ve discovered from pinning down what’s bad for me and creating more space for what’s good? Happiness comes naturally. It's no longer the end goal. It's the overriding feeling. It’s merely my aura. It’s me.
There’s a flip side to the coin, too. It's not all about reflecting on the bad, or where I’m going wrong. In fact, that’s a single pixel in the grand puzzle of the entire cosmos. A fleeting off-note in the orchestral masterpiece. A solitary grain of sand amidst the sweeping desert dunes.
The true beauty I’ve found from daily writing? The main reason why I do it? Preserving the sweet, little moments of my day I’d otherwise forget. Immortalising the hidden gems of my experiences. Finding the mundane, well - mesmerising. Why? Because it is.
Let’s normalise writing down life’s memories. Taking 5, 10, 15, or even 20 minutes out of our day to jot down those teeny-tiny moments that may otherwise get lost, like:
🍔 The best burger you’ve ever had.
👏 That kudos from your boss.
💃🏼 Dancing like nobody was watching with your friends.
💗 The way your mum hugged you extra tight before you left the house.
🌈 The hue of that rainbow after it rained.
🤘 The inner peace you got from letting a car pull out ahead of you.
📕 The feeling finishing that book gave you.
🐞 Seeing your first ladybird of the entire summer (in July!).
😂 That giggle you got out of the shopping assistant as they scanned your weekly shop.
😋 The taste of that Diet Coke you grabbed straight out of the fridge.
🥤 And the crisp, sharp, crackling sound it made when you opened the can. (Other soft drinks are available).
🌸 A lily, blooming from what you believed to be invalid soil.
Hoooly shit. If you could see my smile right now… Just from writing all that down... A handful of small moments from the week that's passed… You’d be punching ‘Daily Journal’ into Amazon’s search bar quicker than I pour a glass of wine come Friday night. (Other e-commerce platforms are available).
All I’m saying is… Take the time to reflect. Plant that seed. Save the memory. However big, however small. (Other sizes are available).
Because. honestly? One day, that memory will grow into something far greater (I told you other sizes were available).
One day, that memory might just save you.